Adderall-In-A-Vape: The Shocking New Way Pfizer Wants to Medicate Your Kids!

In a shocking move to combat the fidgeting epidemic in classrooms, pharmaceutical giant Pfizer has unveiled the Adderall-In-A-Vape, a candy-flavored e-cigarette for kids with ADHD. This revolutionary product promises to keep children focused during lessons by delivering a precise dose of amphetamine salts with every puff.

“We saw a real need,” declared Pfizer’s Dr. Penny Puffington at a press conference in a bounce house. “Kids with ADHD are already into vaping, so why not combine it with Adderall? It’s a game-changer!” The vape comes in flavors like Bubblegum Blast, making medication fun and trendy.

The product has stirred controversy. Teacher Karen McScreech reported confiscating 17 vapes this semester, with students trading them for candy. Meanwhile, self-proclaimed ADHD expert Dr. Skippy McFidget praised the vape, likening it to a “double espresso shot for the brain.”

Pfizer’s marketing targets kids with slogans like “Focus Hard, Vape Harder!” and has gone viral on TikTok. Critics, including the FDA, are alarmed, fearing a new generation of addicted kids. Despite this, Pfizer insists it's a natural evolution in ADHD treatment, dismissing concerns with a shrug.